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Do I Have a Soulmate?

Dear Rachel,

Is there any guarantee that each person will meet his or her soulmate and will find someone who truly loves them? Time and again I have had my heart broken and my hopes dashed. I'm considered attractive, I'm kind, generous, sensitive, smart, intelligent, warm, and fun to be with. So is there really someone out there for everyone?

B.D.
Seattle, WA

Dear B.D.,

It is said that before each of us was created, we were one big soul. Forty days before our conception, G‑d took our "big soul" in His hands and he split it into two pieces. The work of finding our soul mate is finding our missing half.

So how do we find our other half? We have to first begin by perfecting our half. In other words, we have to really know ourselves and be the best "half" we can possibly be. Your soul mate is out there, that's not the question. The question is: are you where you need to be to find him? Are you recognizable to him? Don't forget, he's looking for you too.

As for the "guarantee," you want one of the most powerful things about being in a relationship is that there are no guarantees. Faith and trust are such huge components in a marriage for this very reason. That's why our Sages compare the love between a man and wife to a fire. It is not static or calm, nor is it certain. It's not supposed to be. That is the beauty of a committed relationship…allowing someone into the most vulnerable and hidden places of our hearts trusting our emotions will be well received.

It is said that there are three partners in a marriage: the husband, the wife and G‑d. Until we meet our soulmate, it's just two partners… us and G‑d. This applies to that relationship as well. Because G‑d does not typically grant us a bird's eye view of His plans, we need to constantly bolster our relationship with faith and trust. We need to trust in our depths that He is guiding our steps towards our ultimate purpose, towards the "completion" of our soul.

Another strong component in marriage is communication. Communication is the essential ingredient to every healthy relationship. Since you are preparing to meet your life partner, it's important to practice communicating with your other partner, G‑d. Talk it out with Him. Some people call it prayer, but it could just as well be called communication.

Your "someone" is out there, looking for you. Be the best half-soul you can possibly be and G‑d willing, your steps will be guided towards each other sooner than you know it.

Blessings,
Rachel

26 Comments Posted


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Latest Comments:

Posted: Nov 20, 2008

my Soul's mate

I've been married and divorced & engaged again, I've also been alone in between and after these relationships ended. I thought I would have a hard time believing in the idea of soulmates, especially as I've grown older and experienced life, love, & disappointments, but instead I’ve found that these experiences have given me more of a belief in soulmates. I don’t discount the loves I’ve known, so many people say ‘oh, he/she wasn’t the One’, but to say that the people we’ve already loved aren’t right isn’t really fair to them, and it makes us second guess ourselves when we have the chance to love again. Instead I feel that each love that I have had has been right for me at that moment in my life, without knowing them and loving them I wouldn’t be who I am. As we grow and age we also change and become someone new, if we find our soul’s mate early in life then we grow together, but many of us will take another path and grow alone.

Posted By Michelle

Posted: Aug 12, 2008

Searching for a soulmate

I believe in G-d´s design, not necessarily a marriage for eveyone with a soulmate wherever in the world. I trust G-d, and I would rather fulfill myself, by being "whole", as the ladies pointed out, surrounding myself with good, trustworthy and supportive friends, co-workers, family, and providing me with a path of accomplishments than necessarily be in the expectation of meeting my soulmate. We need to be true to oneself first: too much social, emotional and intellectual differences do not match...
I think that marriage is a two way path: one needs to be accomplished to fulfill the expectations of another. We cannot marry only to avoid loneliness or future pain. We cannot foresee our future. However, I have read about people who have "visualized" and "programmed" her ideal partner and found him !

Posted By Celia Leal, São Paulo, Brazil

Posted: Aug 11, 2008

Soulmate?

What if your soulmate was in a car accident and he/she is dead? Should one settle for the "second best" or soulmate number two/three/four? What if you truly care about one person but you are in completely different levels (mentally/emotionally etc)? I am sorry- I just have a problem accepting the whole soulmate concept. . .it seems so I don't know? Picky? Ridiculous? Sorry- logical brain kicking into high gear here - but how realistic is such an expectation? Romantic and idealistic without doubt but practical?

Posted By Julien, Orlando, FL
via jewishorlando.com